Incredibly late to the table with this post (pun not intended, honest!)
This month’s Urban Jungle Bloggers topic is all about plants used as a table setting. So I invited some of my favourite house plants to join us for dinner.
Readers, let me introduce you to Viola the African Violet, Keith a big out of control Kalanchoe that some friends gave me a few years ago and Penelope the Peperomia.
The gang joined us for some home made sushi, served with little shots of Suntory whisky that Gavin picked up in Tokyo last week.
My new personalised chopsticks were also a gift from Tokyo. I think Gavin intended for my name to be written in Japanese but the request was lost in translation. I love them all the same.
I absolutely adore my house plants. They are like little green photosynthesizing pets, that rely on you to stay alive, and in return clean the air for you, filling it with that handy oxygen stuff we so rely on. I think I’ll definitely start inviting them for dinner more often, they were really no trouble…
Urban Jungle Bloggers is a monthly series run by two bloggers, Igor (Happy Interior Blog) and Judith (JOELIX.com). To view more from the glass and plants theme, visit the Urban Jungle Bloggers website.
Famously, Kate Moss’s favourite food is ‘skinny feels’. Please do excuse my ignorance, but I don’t know what ‘skinny feels’ actually are, perhaps some kind of hipster take on french fries? ANYWAY, whatever they are, since hearing this pronouncement many years ago, I have thought about it reasonably regularly, and always after a particularly great meal.…Is she absolutely sure?
“I wonder if Kate has ever eaten a katsu curry?” I have pondered, while pouring the delightful tangy sauce over the crispy golden chicken.
“Maybe she just doesn’t have a sweet tooth” I’ve thought as I devour the first, warmed mince pie of the season, dusted with cinnamon sugar and drizzled with thick Cornish double cream.
“Mossy must surely be a vegetarian…” I have concluded, while tucking into a perfectly cooked steak, finished with Roquefort butter and side of salted triple cooked chips.
As I have never tried ‘skinny feels’ I can’t guarantee that what I am about to purport is correct, so once again, I’ll ask you to excuse me for my ignorance, and just go along with it for the sake of this post.
Things that I reckon probably taste better than skinny feels:
- While hungover: A juicy, burger on a brioche bun topped with red onion, gherkins and smoked cheese with side of salivatingly salty skinny fries.
- Slow cooked beef massaman curry with crushed peanuts sprinkled over the top, and a big steaming dish of jasmine rice, washed away with a bottle of condensation-inducingly cold Chang beer.
- Crepes. Specifically buckwheat galettes, from France, slightly crispy round the edges, topped with blue cheese, walnuts and celery, a light sprinkling of black pepper, with a bowl of cool Breton cidre.
- The perfect combination of dark, sticky caramelised onions and goats cheese on top of crisp toasted bread.
- I’ve already mentioned it, but STEAK.
- Irradescant Portuguese sardines. Grilled with a sharp squeeze of lemon, some oil, a tomato.
- Roast dinner. Always tasting better when cooked by your mum and served with your whole family. (I mean, the family are all there, they’re not a side dish).
- The salty sweetness of a classic pissaladière with a fresh green salad.
- Cake. A slice of moist (sorry) carrot cake, with cream cheese frosting and a sprinkling of walnuts, made by your favourite person and served on your birthday morning with a big mug of freshly brewed coffee.
When I first tried a mouthful of this revolting green sludge I thought to myself “Well knock me down with a feather, this is the god-damn worst thing I have ever tasted. In fact, it’s probably one of the worst things that has ever happened to me.”
However, after I’d finished the soup, washed it down with three glasses of squash, brushed my teeth and used some extra strong mouthwash I felt that maybe I had been slightly unfair. In fact I managed to think of ten WHOLE things worse than this soup. They are (in no particular order):
- Dropping and smashing a jar of chutney on the kitchen floor
- Standing on a three pin plug
- Working backstage in a music venue and being the person responsible for sweeping up the knickers thrown at Tom Jones by middle aged women
- Dipping your sleeve in the gravy
- When, half way through a journey, your taxi driver starts talking to himself and you start worrying he might be a serial killer
- Stubbing your toe
- Bumping into someone in Sainsbury’s in the vegetable aisle then having to follow them round the entire shop
- When you wake up in the morning and the fitted sheet has come loose
- Overhearing people on the train telling their friends incorrect information
- Being the last remaining member of your species still alive on the planet