Ten things worse than Covent Garden Souper Green skinny soup

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When I first tried a mouthful of this revolting green sludge I thought to myself “Well knock me down with a feather, this is the god-damn worst thing I have ever tasted. In fact, it’s probably one of the worst things that has ever happened to me.”

However, after I’d finished the soup, washed it down with three glasses of squash, brushed my teeth and used some extra strong mouthwash I felt that maybe I had been slightly unfair. In fact I managed to think of ten WHOLE things worse than this soup. They are (in no particular order):

  1. Dropping and smashing a jar of chutney on the kitchen floor
  2. Standing on a three pin plug
  3. Working backstage in a music venue and being the person responsible for sweeping up the knickers thrown at Tom Jones by middle aged women
  4. Dipping your sleeve in the gravy
  5. When, half way through a journey, your taxi driver starts talking to himself and you start worrying he might be a serial killer
  6. Stubbing your toe
  7. Bumping into someone in Sainsbury’s in the vegetable aisle then having to follow them round the entire shop
  8. When you wake up in the morning and the fitted sheet has come loose
  9. Overhearing people on the train telling their friends incorrect information
  10. Being the last remaining member of your species still alive on the planet
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